Posted 6 days ago
  1. Socialism: You have 2 cows and you give one to your neighbor.
  2. Communism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and gives you some milk.
  3. Fascism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and sells you some milk.
  4. Nazism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and shoots you.
  5. Bureaucratism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both, shoots one, milks the other and throws the milk away..
  6. Traditional Capitalism: You have 2 cows. You sell one and buy a bull. You herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.
  7. An American Corporation: You have 2 cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow dropped dead.
  8. A French Corporation: You have 2 cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.
  9. Japanese Corporation: You have 2 cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called Cowkimon and market them Worldwide.
  10. An Italian Corporation: You have 2 cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.
  11. A Swiss Corporation: You have 5000 cows. None of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.
  12. Chinese Corporation: You have 2 cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.
  13. An Iraqi Corporation: Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them that you have none. No one believes you and they bomb your arse. You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy.......
  14. Counter Culture: 'Wow, dig it, like there's these 2 cows, man, grazing in the hemp field. You gotta have some of this milk!'
  15. Surrealism: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
  16. Apathyologism: You have 2 cows. You do not care.
  17. Fatalist: You have 2 doomed cows...
  18. Atheism: You have 2 cows. There is no God.
  19. A West-Country Corporation: You have 2 cows. That one on the left is kinda cute.
  20. A Brazilian Corporation: You have 2 cows. You pay taxes for 6 cows. You have to sell one cow in order to pay the taxes. Your remaining cow gets sick and dies while waiting for availability in the public vet hospital.
  21. Russia: You have two cows. Since they are both female, if you happen to keep them in the same stable you will pay a 5,000 rouble fine for homosexual propaganda.
  22. PETA: You have two cows. You kill them both. You then use naked women to convince other people that killing cows is wrong.
  23. Moffat: You have two cows. Both of them are your daughters time traveling from the past where they had a brief love affair with Da Vinci making you the rightful Queen of England. As you assume the throne, you throw them off a building.
  24. Hussie: You have 2 cows. You ask for another one. Instead of getting just 1 cow, you get 2,485,506 cows.
  25. Romney: You have 2 cows. You are not the president of the united states.
  26. Once-ler: You have 1 cow. Everyone decides to make 5 different versions of that cow.
  27. Old Spice: You have 2 cows. The cows are now diamonds. I'm on a horse.
  28. An Irish Corporation: You have a million cows because they're everywhere
  29. Tumblr: You have 2 cows. You ship them together and make GIF posts screaming about how much you love your cows, but they should stop existing because they are so perfect.
  30. Also Tumblr: I give you a hamburger.
  31. Night Vale: You do NOT have two cows. Cows do not exist. What's a cow? Show me a cow! That's not a cow! Who let you in here?
  32. Tom Hiddleston: You have two cows. You are very sorry for them.
  33. Thranduil: You do not have two cows, you have an elk. Riding on two cows is not majestic. Also the dwarves are on fire.
  34. Dwarves: You had two cows but now they're on fire.
  35. Bilbo Baggins: You did not invite those two cows for dinner.
  36. Benedict Cumberbatch: did the motion capture for BOTH of those cows.
  37. This post: Started off as a post that explained different goverments but then everything changed when the fire nation attacked
  38. Cows: The shit you go through.
Posted 1 week ago

cowbuttcrunchies:

Ragyo Kiryuin preview! …Of course I realized immediately after I took my makeup off that I’d forgot to put on the collar but oh well.  This also does not include the feather boa/cape, but I wanted to be sure to put some preview pics up before Colossalcon!

The wig took forever and a day, but I’m actually really happy with how it turned out.  There were a few things I’d really wanted to accomplish with it: It needed to both light up and look good while turned off.  It also needed to be portable for wearing around a convention.  I find that EL wire tends to not photograph well during the daytime, while LEDs can be too bright if they aren’t diffused.  So I ended up packing a hollow foam space with superbright 5050 LEDs, and then diffusing them with wig fiber laid on top of a plexiglass screen.  The wig runs off of 4 to 8 AA’s and is monstrously bright - the color is hard to see on cameraphones while in darker spaces, but I’m looking to experiment with the voltage to get a more consistent photo range.  I’ll be putting up a wig guide with progress pics after the con too.

Posted 2 weeks ago

edwardspoonhands:

christel-thoughts:

pattilahell:

issarae:

Necessary.

I signed a change.org petition asking that this, among other necessary policies be made mandatory by federal law. FUCKING SIGN IT.

well would you look at that…

I think this will happen…many police unions do not want it to happen, but I think it will happen. It will take a lot of time and a lot of fighting, but every moment of that fight is going to be worth it. 

Police unions will want more research, I think that’s important, and that research is being done now. While use of force and number of complaints are important statistics, so is overall crime rate (which unions will argue is adversely affected (because officers are thinking about how they’ll look on camera, not how to do their jobs) unless there are overwhelming data to counter that claim).

Also vitally important will be whether these save police departments money (which they probably will, in reduced complaints and simpler court cases.) 

And let’s not forget about privacy…if these videos are being uploaded to cloud-based evidence systems (which they probably will be) who is going to have access to them? What do you do with videos that have nothing to do with active cases? How long are videos stored for? How do you protect that data? Who decides when the cameras are on or off (civil rights orgs (and I) will argue that they must be always-on, police officers will say “what about when I’m peeing.”) And, if there’s an off switch, we can assume the off switch will get used at the exact time when we will have wanted it to be on.

As I say, this is coming, and it’s important, and it will be a force that runs counter to a lot of the bullshit police work that’s being done in some places in America…but the areas where it’s most vital will be the ones where it arrives last.

And, unfortunately, the federal government will never be able to make a blanket law because congress can’t even agree if flowers are pretty.

This is going to have to be a battle fought in every city in America individually, don’t let that drain your will. Yes, it would be better if it just happened tomorrow, but it will be worse if we all get lazy and say “it’s not happening the way I want so I don’t care if it happens at all.” 

Fuck that…we need do make it happen whatever way we can, even if it takes a long-ass time. 

Sincerely,
An Old Guy

Posted 2 weeks ago
Posted 2 weeks ago

"I started doing comedy because that was the only stage that I could find. It was the pure idea of being on stage. That was the only thing that interested me, along with learning the craft and working, and just being in productions with people."

-Robin Williams (July 21, 1951 - August 11, 2014)

(Source: monteithlovers)

Posted 3 weeks ago
Posted 3 weeks ago

alanmorlock:

Guardians of the Galaxy (1995)

Posted 3 weeks ago
  1. Everyone before seeing Guardians of the Galaxy: yeah man looks okay I'll probably go see it
  2. Everyone after seeing Guardians of the Galaxy: GROOT
Posted 3 weeks ago

Deleted lines from The Avengers script #485

  1. Loki: Enough! You are, all of you are beneath me! I am a god, you dull creature, and I will not be bullied by—!
  2. Hulk:
  3. Hulk: *(holds out a flower)*
  4. Loki:
  5. Loki: For me...?
  6. Hulk: HULK KNOW IT NOT EASY BEING GREEN.
  7. Loki:
  8. Loki: *(puppy eyes welling up)*
Posted 3 weeks ago

gay-bondage69:

transschmuck:

cutevictim:

Jesus was a homeless Palestinian anarchist who held protests at oppressive churches, advocated for universal health care and redistribution of wealth, before being arrested for terrorism, tortured and executed for crimes against the state, now go ahead and explain to me why he’d vote conservative. I’ll wait.

i’m sorry that’s just the best sentence i’ve ever read

Canon Jesus is so much cooler than American Jesus.

(Source: cutevictim)